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img_7755I watched President Obama address the crisis in Syria on December 16th, 2016. The press kept asking him if he was planning to help President-Elect Trump with such matters as Syria before leaving office. They also asked numerous questions about Trump and also, if President Obama believed that the outcome of the election were due to the Russians hacking the system (This matter is being investigated by the CIA currently).

President Obama answered each question with eloquence, as he always does. However, there was something he stated that stood out to me. When he was asked about the way he responded and if he felt responsible, he said, “I always feel responsible for everything.” I couldn’t help but wonder if he feels responsible for everything because many Americans blame him for everything. If the sky starts falling it’s President Obama’s fault!

I personally will be glad and sad when he leaves office. Of course Im going to miss him being the President. His charm, his whit, his kindness, and his politeness. Statistically, he has been the best President. Yet, when he’s out of office he can’t be blamed for the list of catastrophes that’s going to take place. All he can do is partially advise Trump on what he thinks is best and keep it moving!

President Obama and his family will be free, if that makes any sense to you. Hopefully, since they will no longer be in the White house they’ll be less accessible to severe scrutiny and be able to live their lives peacefully and privately.

Farewell First Family!


Real TV


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Sometimes it’s hard to find quality TV shows with African American leading characters or a predominately African American cast. We are currently in the era of Reality TV and have been for a while now. “How to Get Away with Murder” isn’t coming back on until January
and I’ve been missing two of my favorite TV shows, “Being Mary Jane” and “Scandal!” Recently, one of my male friends called me and told me I need to check out this show called “Insecure” on HBO.

He’s super critical about everything so I figured I should check the show out. I decided to binge watch “Insecure!” I was ecstatic to see a character that represents the in-between age/stage and feelings that Black women experience. Displaying how Issa started to question everything about her life is recognizable. It’s a feeling that most of us know; especially, at the age of 29 and when you hit 30! I’m sure many people can identify with having to re-word your thoughts so
you won’t say something offensive to your peers (coworkers) even though their statements offend you. The struggle is often too real when dealing with how you’re perceived in the workplace. Particularly when others are allowed to say and do whatever they want! Ugh moving on!

Do you know what Issa has, that Olivia and Mary Jane don’t have?! You guessed it, A MAN! Finally, a Black woman with credentials, leading role, and she has a long term relationship! Leading lady Issa has an educated, handsome man named Lawerence. Well at least she had a long term relationship with Lawerence (It isn’t over). The way Lawerence passed out those shots just thickens the storyline. It’s going to be interesting to see how this all plays out!

Did I mention Issa’s bestfriend Molly? Molly is easily identified as the bestie as the show makes it a point to display the lighthearted way they use the word bitch when speaking with one another. That’s almost how you know the love is real between friends. Molly adds an entirely different Black girl dynamic to the mix. I think we all know a Molly. Hell, you might be Molly! Enough is never really enough, and being educated yet single isn’t easy. Everyone has a friend or friends that has to bring them back to reality from time to time. The beautiful thing about Issa and Molly’s relationship is that they reciprocate that behavior to each other.

Needless to say, I’ve added “Insecure” to my list of shows that I can’t wait to return! If you’re looking for a smart, savvy, realistic, and funny show- you’ll find it all in Issa Rae’s “Insecure.”

Real TV is back!

Black Friday


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It’s that time of year again! Black Friday! The time when parents are doing whatever they can to get their children everything on their Christmas list, only to turn around and give the credit to a chubby Caucasian man in a red suit! And don’t you just love the crowded malls and cranky impatient people?! Although many of us are well aware of the shopping madness associated with Black Friday, a couple of years ago, a post started going around via social media that suggested that Black Friday originated from slave owners selling slaves for discounted prices. The post confused many people, prompting boycotts and making people question whether or not their original understanding of Black Friday was true or not.

I am here to tell you that it’s NOT true! With all of the current issues and events connected to racism and slavery, I understand why people were so readily accepting the myth of Black Friday originating from the slave trade. However, it’s just not true. After doing some research, I discovered that Black Friday originated in Philadelphia in the 1950’s. Traffic cops had to work 12 hour shifts to monitor the outrageous parking, traffic, and crowds of people that were a result in the annual Army-Navy football game that was held in the city every year.

Last year, African Americans and other groups boycotted Black Friday. The majority boycotted due to large corporations not taking a stand with Black people when innocent unarmed Blacks were being gunned down by police. If you want to boycott Black Friday this year for that same reason, go right ahead! Whatever reason you choose, just remember that just because you see it on a meme, it doesn’t make it true! If you choose to boycott this year, be sure to research the causes before you commit to one. Choosing to shop with Black owned businesses on Black Friday is also a great alternative!

Happy holidays if you celebrate! Bah humbug if you don’t!

(This was originally posted on Black Friday 2016 at LetsTalkRaeStyle.com)

The Future President


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I was awakened this morning by a text message from my friend saying she was questioning so much about the world at the moment. I knew then that Donald Trump won the Presidency. To be honest, I’m not really sure how I feel, besides disgusted. While the numbers were being reported last night I tried my very best not to watch it. Yet, when my 10 year old niece called me and said “Ti Ti it’s really bad!” I indeed became nervous. Not to mention my Daddy was so distraught he just decided to sleep rather than watch the numbers.

I avoided writing about the election, until today! I am truly disappointed that so many people argued and ridiculed me for exercising my right to vote! Too many people decided to stay home because they felt that either candidate wouldn’t be a wise choice for the country. People were so high and mighty! They said, “Clinton is a criminal; You’re being tricked into believing she is a better candidate than Trump!” We the American people have been spoiled with the squeaky clean image of President Obama, so, we don’t think the normal dirt that Politicians partake in is acceptable! Please don’t misunderstand me I’m not trying to justify wrong doings, but I am saying if you think Politicians specifically on high levels don’t have to get horrible tasks completed for the greater good then you are naive!

Trump had a well known racist performer perform in Grand Rapids, MI the day before the election! Hell, Donald Trump’s Father was a Klu Klux Klan member! The KKK openly supported Trump! Guess what? We now officially have a full blown racist as our next President! Many people didn’t realize their was so much White rage in America! You know how you always hear about African Americans talking about how they are discriminated against in subtle ways? Those same subtle racist went out in numbers to display how strongly they believe we (we meaning anyone that doesn’t fall in line with White Supremacy) don’t belong here!

Trump’s plan for Police Brutality was “Law and Order,” which means there will be an even bigger open season session on African Americans and Latinos! Yet, he has his very own special victims case coming up next month, because he’s accused of rape! This election proves that most of America is still uneducated and would rather support what they think vs the facts! That goes for the racist voters and the people that didn’t bother to vote at all! When I say uneducated understand that I mean you let your personal feelings outweigh everything else. You’d rather have a President that has no experience at all than a woman President that is almost over qualified for the Presidency. You’d rather have a President that appeals to your personal feelings about other ethnicities… a President that has an extremely limited vernacular and NO POLITICAL EXPERIENCE OR KNOWLEDGE! It says so much about this country!

I tried to tell people that this was not the election to split the vote and vote for the Green Party. I was told that I was spreading fear! That I need to pay attention and stop being brainwashed. I tried to warn people that we are voting for more than just the Presidency. This is the one time that I’m terribly sad to be right! Some of us really underestimated those dirt poor Republicans and the hatred that so many people have for people of color! What I do know is that African Americans always survive even in the worse days of being oppressed. Politicians have failed us for years! I’m hoping and praying that there are no walls built, no people being deported, no increased attacks on people of color, and no attacks upon Muslim people.

This country is deep rooted in ignorance, racism, sexism, and classism! These are the very social issues that won the election last night. I’ve always seen your true colors America, but know this: We are all immigrants to this land and I am not my ancestors! I may carry them in spirit but that is all!

(This was originally posted on LetsTalkRaeStyle.com on November 9th,2016.

Who’s bigger?


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There I was standing at the bar in a black dress, holding my glass of Riesling, while slightly dancing to the band as they played Anita Baker’s song “Been so long.” As you can imagine the atmosphere was amazing and I was having a great time. The night was coming to an end when a gentleman walked up to me and told me I should come upstairs- where the real party was. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned that, so since the band began to pack up I decided to go upstairs.

Upstairs there was another bar, more people, and a DJ. The DJ’s music wasn’t as loud as the band so it was easy to have a conversation and be heard. He starts to talk and asks me what I do. I explained to him that I was a writer and recently published a book. He immediately starts to tell me that we need to get together because he wants to publish a book about his life.

I’m all about a dollar, so, I agreed! He began to tell me he was in prison for a while and is a member of the Nation of Islam (NOI). Shame on me for being intrigued by his religion; I couldn’t resist asking him about his personal feelings about Malcolm X. Keep in mind a couple of years ago the two men that were charged with the actual murder of Malcolm X (one of them still says he had nothing to do with it) were released and the NOI was asked to give a comment and they declined (gives major side eye).

The gentleman’s response in a nutshell was that Malcolm X’s ego and love for the microphone is what killed him. He also stated that the NOI shouldn’t have made a comment about the alleged killers of Malcolm X being released. Before I could say anything he said and I quote “Don’t let that movie fool you!” At that moment I had to speak. I explained to him that I’ve read the autobiography of Malcolm X, so the movie doesn’t fool me!

I explained to him that by the NOI not making a comment about the release of the alleged killers shows that they are still not over Malcolm X exposing The Honorable Elijah Mohammed. He then told me that Malcolm X just played on the emotions of women. Although, I didn’t agree with that statement I said “Don’t all religious leaders play on the emotions of the people in some way?” I don’t consider exposing the dirty deeds of a leader with mutiple women and children all over as playing on the emotions of women.

I was ready to shut him up so this is what I said- Malcolm X is bigger than the NOI and it’s mainly the fault of the NOI for his everlasting name! He was clearly upset. He stated that one man can not be bigger than the NOI. Let’s be real who has a stamp and who doesn’t? Whose life and death are acknowledged and celebrated?! It’s unfortunate that Icons and Legends such as Brother Malcolm aren’t appreciated for their brilliance while they are alive! However, his untimely death was orchestrated by the NOI, their plan to get rid of him only made him live forever!

That’s kind of what I call IRONY! From that conversation it seems that the NOI still has animosity and/or jealousy for a man that is dead, which is extremely disheartening to say the least. One last thing that the gentleman at the bar said was “if it weren’t for the NOI Malcolm X wouldn’t be Malcolm X.” I informed him that our destiny is already written out for us, he was going to be who he was regardless of the stops along his journey!

I view this conversation and the events of the past as a lesson. Instead of following others and focusing on what someone else may be doing never let negative feelings such as hate or jealousy for another person take over your mind! If you do, you may end up giving them all the power, praise, and longevity that you envied to begin with.

Thanks for visiting LetsTalkRaeStyle.com

Relationship confusion


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There seems to be so much love and happy relationships everywhere you turn. I am a person that loves love, all kinds of love. It doesn’t matter if it’s the love you have for your Mom or your bestfriend it’s an amazing feeling. However, I want to focus on the love that you receive within relationships with your boyfriend or girlfriend (significant others). There are people that love each other and show that love for each other by mirroring one another’s love. There are always those that demonstrate their love in completely different ways, but it’s just how they love  (Here is where things get twisted).  Continue reading

Who’s going to help us?


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After hearing about Alton Sterling, of North Baton Rouge, being murdered by the police I immediately felt dizzy. When I was able to view the gruesome shooting my chest began to feel tight and I could feel the chunks of vomit building up in my throat. All of these thoughts and images of the different men and women that have been killed by the police started to play in my mind like a movie. Then I started to think about how I would be harassed via social media if I decided to speak out against police brutality. Continue reading

Between Black men & women..


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The existence of Black people in this country (USA) is rooted in an extremely complicated past. By complicated, I mean children being taken from their Mothers and sold into slavery. Women being raped by the Master in order to produce more slaves. Husbands being emasculated by the Master in front of his wife and family; ultimately leaving him powerless. Did I mention women being raped in front of their husbands? Again, leaving the Black man powerless to protect her. Hundreds of years of beating, lynching, and being treated like animals has definitely taken a toll on our ethnic group as a whole. For hundreds of years Black women have been unprotected, and not just because of the cruelty of slavery.


Years after slavery ended the lack of protection continued due to the mistreatment and status of African American people. This system of being unprotected has created a storm between Black men and women. Over time Black mothers have taught their Black daughters to take care of themselves, provide for yourself, take care of your children – because men can walk away, and dedicate yourself to your work-, which in a twisted way is the current version of the Master!

Now we have Black men and women that struggle with understanding and dating one another because Black men think Black women are too independent. Black women think Black men can’t provide for them or protect them. Are we giving each other a chance or are we entering situations with preconceived notions? I hope I can clear some things up for both parties. An independent woman is simply a woman that can pay her own bills without leaching off of a man. That’s not a bad thing, right? Does money make a man? Just because a man may not make as much money as a woman (his woman), doesn’t decrease his value as a man. A man’s salary regardless if it’s more, less, or equal to a woman’s does not define his worth as a man.

There is no need to try to emasculate a Black man about anything. Especially, when he has the world already chipping away at him. There is no need to get upset with a Black woman because she’s expressing her feelings. The world is already telling her that she’s angry or calling her a “bitch” whenever she tries to express herself. It’s important to build each other up. If we don’t build each other up, who will?

Some Suggestions

You have to communicate with one another, which requires listening, or it’s not effective! Allow your man to be a man. Allow him to do things for you. Make him feel needed. Don’t be afraid to stroke his ego. Listen to him without interruption. Be cautious of your tone when speaking to him. After all he’s your companion not your child. Show him that when the worlds against him you are for him. Verbally express that you are on board with his dreams, and be sure your actions demonstrate that same support. Let him feel your nurturing side even if it’s by doing something simple like cooking or giving him a massage.

Tell your Black woman how beautiful she is. Listen to her without interruption. Make her feel like she’s safe with you. Be protective over her. Women appreciate the small things, so pay attention to her. Show her off in public. There is nothing wrong with being proud of the woman you’re with. Show her that you love her. Support her goals. Instead of telling her what to do make suggestions. Make her feel desired. Treat her like you would want a man to treat your daughter.

I’m not going to pretend to have all the answers. I don’t even think I have half the answers. However, I do believe this is a start. I know that we can operate more cohesively if we tried.

Thanks for visiting LetsTalkRaeStyle.com

Handle YOUR business in the bathroom.


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I take weekly trips to Target- sometimes three times a week. My trips include me drinking a Sweet Tooth Latte from Biggby and consuming a bottle of Absopure right after. After I go through the home goods, cleaning, intimates, and grocery aisles, it happens: the great bathroom debate. I’m stuck in checkout trying to figure out if I can retain my urge to tinkle until I get home.

I absolutely despise public restrooms. In fact, the only public restrooms that I have ever felt were decent are the ones at the casinos. By decent I mean I don’t think I’m going to die if my pants legs touch the floor. In some cases I have had to make a mad dash to the restroom in Target. During those times, I’ve never been concerned about who walked in after me, before me, or during my time in the stall. I’m still not concerned about who goes in and out.

Now, all of a sudden, there is huge conversation about Transgender people going to public restrooms. This has become a national issue about which bathroom a transgender person should be using. If you don’t know, a Transgender person is a person who’s gender identity is opposite of their biological sex. I’m pretty sure that a transgender person has walked in the bathroom with you before and used the restroom and you had no idea, because there was no discussion or curiosity about who someone was that came in to use the restroom.

So why is it a big deal today? Don’t all restrooms have stalls? In fact, the mens room has urinals and stalls. If a Transgender male went to the mens room and could actually stand up and pee, they are not only super talented but deserve to be in there! I struggle with the cup at the doctors office, so kudos to you! Are people walking into restrooms announcing that they are transgender before handling their business?

In all seriousness, use the restroom that you’ve been using prior to making this topic national news. If no one has said anything to you as a transgender person before then, keep using that restroom. If someone has addressed you to inquire about the validity of your sex for the bathroom choice, you can either ignore them or ask them to prove you wrong.

Everyone should concern themselves with their own business. I don’t want to hear anything else about people being concerned about their children being molested by transgender people. That’s an ignorant assumption. It’s especially ignorant because it’s a fact the children are mostly molested by people they know, trust, and love. All Im asking is that people educate themselves on the facts and don’t just go with what’s in favor of the masses.

Thanks for visiting LetsTalkRaeStyle.com

How to Play the Game of Life..


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Do you feel stuck in your own life? Do you know what you want for your life? Do you take on the problems of others? In “How to play the game of life: A guide on maneuvering through life’s challenges,” Ashley Rae writes about real life circumstances and what you can do to overcome the situations.

Ashley Rae gives details about her own life experiences and the steps she took to move forward in a positive way. She encourages you to take control of what’s in your reach, and to maintain your own self-satisfaction. In these pages you’ll discover:

-How to identify unhealthy relationships of many types.

– How to communicate effectively.

– How to find and protect your inner peace.

-How to accept yourself.




You can also download the book on Kindle! If you don’t have a Kindle you can always download the free Kindle app to your device and purchase the book.


Thank you for visiting LetsTalkRaeStyle.com