Problematic statements made by Black people.


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I can’t even begin to tell you how disgusted I am with some of things that my people say about each other that makes no sense. Apparently it makes sense to them, but in all actuality, they are usually extremely problematic or they are the views and opinions taken on by our oppressors.

I’ve been carping about this very topic for at least the last 2 weeks. Every time I get ready to sit-down and create this blog, I see another statement made that’s extremely problematic. For example: A woman with a Black son was upset that some young teenage boys threw something wet at her car while they were driving. She literally stated “I bet they have the type of parents that scream about police brutality and argue with teachers about what type of child they have.” I guess it’s okay for police to beat and kill the teenage boys since they did something stupid that teenagers often do? PROBLEMATIC!

Below are 11 of the top problematic statements that Black people make about Black people.

1. “If Black Lives Mattered, we wouldn’t have Black on Black crime!”

NEWS FLASH!! Black on Black crime is a term of propaganda created by the media in the 60’s! The fact of the matter is that people of all ethnicities kill people that look like them! That is a FACT! Black Lives matter was created because when Black people are killed by the police or whomever is feeling trigger happy that is not Black, they get a pass for killing a Black person. The killing is somehow justified and justice is never served. This has been going on for centuries! Also, if you think Black people like the crime or take crime lightly that happens within our own communities, it’s obvious that you have never been to a stop the violence rally or protest, which means you are not active or really paying attention to what’s happening in your community!


2. “If the NFL players aren’t protesting, why should I?”

You should be protesting because you should have the common sense to realize that the NFL is making a powerful statement about how they feel about Black people as a whole. If you didn’t know what that powerful statement was, let me tell you. The NFL’s statement was “we don’t care about your hard times in America due to you being a Black man. Just make our money BOY!”

BOTTOMLINE: THINK! Maybe you could figure some things out and stop letting a sport you don’t get paid to watch or play run your life!

3. “I want a mixed baby.”

Do I even have to explain this? You wanting a “mixed” baby is just stating you don’t like the features of Black babies. You don’t like yourself and how you look. You think that having a close Caucasian gene makes your baby better or special! It doesn’t! If you want a mixed baby, get a Poodle mixed with a Yorkshire, because animals are mixed. Not people!


4. “I can’t stand being around Black people.”

You are Black and your statement is ignorant. What makes you think any other ethnicity wants to be around you?

BOTTOMLINE: SHUTUP and get some class!

5. Speaking negatively about a movement that Black people have started to create awareness about social injustice.

Either you are going to support the movement or you’re not! No one needs your criticism when a larger motive or goal is the objective! You being negative in an attempt to disassociate yourself isn’t necessary. You could just be quiet.


6. Stop telling Black people where they went wrong after being beaten and/or handcuffed for no reason by the police.

If you haven’t realized that it doesn’t matter what you do or say if an officer decides to kick your A$$, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or what you say!


7. “She’s pretty to be dark-skin.”

Are you serious? She’s pretty period! Complexion doesn’t matter.


8. She got “good hair.”

There is no such thing as GOOD HAIR! There are different types of textures of hair. For example kinky, wavy, curly, straight, thick, and soft.


9. “Nah he’s not Black Black he’s from Trinidad”

Slaves were dropped off in the Caribbean, Jamaica, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Barbados, Dominican Republic, Haiti,Buenos Aires, Ecuador, Cuba, and Puerto Rico! There are more places but this was just to name a few. The slaves in North America were the leftover slaves!

BOTTOMLINE: We have the same African Ancestry! We have been separated by land and culture, which CREATES THE ILLUSION THAT WE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE BUT WE ARE NOT!

10. Any time a black celebrity (ie R. Kelly and Bill Cosby) get caught in their bullshit, you all say it’s just because they’re black.

They are disgusting humans getting caught up in their devilsih ways! Just because you like what they represent doesn’t mean that’s who they are! Then you compare them to White celebrities that have been accused of the same thing! NEWS FLASH: THEY AREN’T WHITE!

BOTTOMLINE: Stop blaming the victim and focus on the pattern of the CRIMINAL! If they are so innocent, leave your daughters and nieces with them.

11. Stating that since there are problems within the Black community, we have no reason or right to complain about how other groups of people treat us.

This is the most disappointing statement I’ve seen! No other group of people have the history that we have as far as coming to this country and being separated by complexion! Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity regardless of what the next person has done!

BOTTOMLINE: If you want to shuck and jive and be disrespectful to impress or fit in with another Ethnic group, go by yourself! The rest of us aren’t going with you! BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!


Getting Fit


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Earlier this year I decided to make a comment to myself to lose some weight! It was a struggle indeed, but my results were worth it! I began going to the gym 5 days a week! Sometimes 4 days depending on the situation. I ended up losing around 25lbs! I was ecstatic, because it had been a long time since I made that commitment to myself and stuck to it!

Guess what happened? LIFE! The month of June was a busy time for me. My bestfriend got married, my business began to pick up, along with my 9-5! Not to mention the weather was amazing, and I just wanted to be free of restrictions! In that one month I gained 12lbs back. I was a little devastated, but hey I did it to myself.  Now I’m back on my journey and trying to reach an even lower weight. I have a specific number in mind.

I have begun  hitting the gym again regularly because after all exercise is important! Especially for people like myself who sit down all day at work. I sit at work, I sit when working for my small business, and I sit while blogging and writing in general. You have to find a way to get your body moving just for the sake of good health if nothing else!

My next challenge area is limiting  my sweet consumption. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a foodie and I love sweets. I’m talking about pound cake, any cake, cookies, cupcakes, brownies, candy, and pies (salivates a little)! I get excited just talking about them. Realistically I know that self-control is a must in this area for me. My goal is to limit my sweets consumption to once a week. On that one day they must be consumed in moderation.

I decided to blog about my journey of weightloss because it’s ugly and it’s real. It’s more than posting cute pictures of yourself in the gym. It’s hard work, discipline, and dedication. I know that there are others who want to get on the bandwagon of healthy living as well! After all this is a lifestyle change. Set an immediate obtainable goal for yourself, stick to it, and increase your goals from there!

The picture for this blog is from last nights workout on the stairclimber. If I can do it so can you!

Let me know what your health goals are…


A small contribution


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I am disappointed in the amount of people that are on my timeline watching any NFL game. I was asked why do I want people to boycott the NFL, but not have the NFL players boycott the NFL. I never said that I didn’t want the players to boycott! In fact, I wish they would! However, they are under a contract and many of the players are young. Sometimes we don’t understand the underlying meanings of actions or lack of actions in pressing circumstances.

Let me just get to why I am disappointed. The NFL has black balled a player for kneeling and/or sitting during the national anthem and for voicing facts of the unjust treatment of Black people in America along with discussing police being able to kill Black people routinely without any consequences behind their actions! Keep in mind the NFL is 70% Black.

The NFL is ultimately telling Black people that they don’t care what happens to us, and what our experiences are as long as we generate money for them! “Keep shucking and jiving boy, and everything will be fine.” The American national anthem is a racist ass song period! There is nothing in that song that Black people or any other ethnic group should be proud of!

There isn’t anything disrespectful to the country about sitting or kneeling during the national anthem. You know what is disrespectful to this country? Waving around a God damned confederate flag! You know why? Because, the south lost the war! The south was literally against the country! Yet, and still people do it and aren’t being punished for it. How about the country has never respected Black people anyway, so could you blame us for giving the country that same treatment?

This is not about Kaep getting a job! This is about respecting and acknowledging Black issues in America! It’s about having the freedom to address them head on, and finding out who will support you on the journey!
At what point do you have any self-respect or dignity as a man or woman: As a human? You can’t stop yourself from watching a game? It’s really simple. The NFL does not respect its players! The NFL’s concern is the same as Massas. Do what you are told to increase their income. You step out of line and you will be punished.

You can be anything you want to be in America except for pridefully Black and free!




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If you watched BET’s hit series “Being Mary Jane,” last night you watched an intense yet serious moment in Black TV history for Black women. Mary Jane I must admit is very relatable yet extreme at the same time. However when Aaliyah and Mary Jane sat at the office table to prep Mary Jane for her potential interview regarding Lee’s Show (Lee is MJ’s ex boyfriend) the conversation got heated. It was actually more like a monologue, because Aaliyah sat quietly.

Here is what was said by MJ: “His project is trafficking in the same tired tropes.” “Black women are crazy, Black women are promiscuous, Black women are angry.” “But, have Black men ever taken responsibility for driving us to that?” “We live in a society that treats us like we’re the bottom of the barrel when it comes to romance.”  “Couple that with constantly trying to prove ourselves as worthy enough, right?” ” Be confident baby girl, but not intimidating, be smart but not emasculating.”  “Never enough but too much, too damn much, all at the same damn time.” “Men are encouraged to objectify our bodies, but the minute we search for sexual satisfaction oh baby we are called WHORES!”

I am sure that some people probably took this as Mary Jane being angry, or bitter even though that is not the message nor intent. However, does Mary Jane make some valid points? Shouldn’t Mary Jane have the right to be angry when she, and other Black women are looked upon as a last resort? The bottom of the barrel and/or less beautiful? Has anyone taken the time to discuss why many Black women feel the way that they (we) do? Of course Black women discuss these things amongst each other, but does anyone else care to listen for understanding instead of  hearing us to respond and downplay our plight?

The truth of the matter is Black women are constantly walking on eggshells trying to be enough, and not too damn much!  Where is the balance in being smart, and then engaging in a conversation yet being perceived as emasculating because of what you know? How is being confident intimidating unless you’re in some form of competition? Everyone should be confident in themselves without being egotistical. Black women can barely take a sexy picture without negative backlash.  Men are encouraged to objectify the bodies of women. Yet women can’t seek to be satisfied sexually.

What’s the point of even having sex if you aren’t seeking physical satisfaction and pleasure? The entire ideology of Black women being promiscuous comes from slavery, and I’m exhausted with explaining that! If you didn’t know Black women did not enjoy being raped! Being raped for years does not equal promiscuity! If a Black woman does consider herself (is) to be promiscuous or sexually fluid that does not give anyone the right to disrespect her or judge her. Even if you feel like she may be disrespecting herself you still should respect her, because you don’t control the actions of others, you control yourself!

Did Mary Jane just express to the world what many of us have been thinking and feeling? If you were constantly jumping through hoops to fit a picture of what someone’s idea of you should be,  wouldn’t that make you crazy at some point?




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Today is August 17th, 2017 which is my Birthday (Earthday)… whatever name you want to call it! This year I decided upon a photo shoot. Not just any photo shoot, but a photo shoot and a blog to promote positive body image. I remember being displeased with my body at the age of nine. Some of my body parts seemed to be growing fast, which looked very awkward on a child. Adults would make negative comments about my body and we all know how cruel kids can be.
I always seemed to be bigger than everyone else including my friends. Even in high school, I considered myself to be the big girl with the pretty face. You see being “thick” wasn’t all that popular in my day. I mean don’t get me wrong, there has always been males, at that time, that made me feel good about my body- but the damage had already been done. If you don’t feel good about your body it doesn’t even matter what anyone else thinks.
The lead girls in music videos were always thin unless it was Buffy the Body and she was all butt back then! I don’t really recall seeing many positive images of bigger women on TV, if I saw any at all. My birthday photo shoot felt like a coming out moment for me. It’s me accepting my entire body flaws and all! Recently one of my Facebook friends asked if there were any girls out here with naturally perfect curves without any enhancements from surgery. If you didn’t know we are in the age of Brazilian butt jobs, liposuction, tummy tucks, and gastric bypass surgery. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those procedures if that is what you need to feel beautiful.  As a person that has never had any type of surgery, those avenues just aren’t for me currently.
My body may not be perfect, but I love the way I look!  I definitely have curves, and I make an effort to workout 4-5 days a week. I don’t workout due to my weight; I workout because I want to obtain and maintain good health. This blog isn’t just about big or bigger girls. This blog is for every girl or woman who has ever been told that she’s too skinny or too tall. For every woman who has been told her breast or butt weren’t big enough, or that her stomach wasn’t flat enough. It’s for every person that has ever been compared to a model, actress, singer, or some random girl on Instagram that shows all her goods!
Embrace whatever body type that you may have. Look at your beautiful naked body in the mirror and speak positive life into yourself! You believe what you tell yourself, and as long as you speak positively to yourself you’ll never feel insecure.
Respect and love your body no matter its shape or size.
Photo credit JMT Printing & Design photo of Ashley Rae..



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riot photo

I decided to create a list of details that you need to know regarding what was taking place in the city of Detroit before the 1967 riot: And before you watch the movie “Detroit,” which will be in theaters August 4th, 2017. I have been told the movies narrative will accurately portray the plight of the citizens, and what actually happened that night to ignite the riot. Most of the list are things that were occurring or occurred before the 1967 riot, and there are a few items listed that happened directly after the riot ended.

1. There was a race riot in 1943.
2. African American (Pan Africans, Blacks) people were dissatisfied with the social conditions in Detroit before July 23rd 1967.

3. African Americans (Pan Africans, Blacks) constantly reported discrimination against them in
A. Policing (Harassing citizens and putting them in jail without cause).
B. Housing (African Americans experienced redlining meaning they could only live in certain areas).
C. Employment.
D. Spatial segregation in the city.
E. Mistreatment by business owners/merchants.
F. Shortage of facilities.
G. Poor quality of public education.
H. Lack of access to medical services.
I. The way war on poverty operated in Detroit.

4. African Americans insisted and pleaded with the Mayor to create a review board for the Detroit Police Department due to the brutal beatings and killings of African American people by the police. Of course the review board wasn’t created.

5. Police brutality constantly made African American people feel at risk. The Detroit news had headlines regarding many suspicious and unjust deaths of Black people caused by Detroit Police officers.

6. African American people were tired of being spoken to disrespectfully by police. For example addressing Black men as “boys” and Black women as “honey “ and “baby.”

7. African Americans reported police brutality as the number one problem they faced leading up to the riot.

8. African Americans felt police raided after hours unjustly because the police knew African Americans weren’t allowed in the clubs in Detroit.

9. When the riot started the unemployment rate of Black men was more than twice the amount of White men.

10. By 1967 the homes that African Americans lived in were rented from Jewish owners that now lived in the Suburbs, and they owned the local businesses as well. Most of the Black owned thriving businesses had already been demolished thanks to the Government for building I-75.

11. White Flight began, which is when White people began moving out of Detroit in huge numbers. Businesses began to leave Detroit, and businesses refused to invest or locate in the city. The 60’s are the mark of the decline of Detroit.

Let’s not forget these very important events including assassinations that occurred before the 1967 riot!
The Vietnam war officially began in 1961. President Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. The Civil Rights Act to stop discrimination was also signed and passed by Congress in 1964. Malcolm X was assassinated in 1965.

If you’ve read the list you’ll be able to identify with many issues because they are still happening today. I hope the information provided help you understand the frustration, discrimination, hopelessness, fear, anger, sorrow, depression, and anxiety that Black people felt at that time. Imagine being trapped in the same place with all those feelings that I stated. Imagine being punished and further pushed to the edge, because you displayed how tired you were of being mistreated. Tired of identifying the problem, and yet nothing being done to rectify the situation.

Thanks for visiting

Policing Vaginas


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The V


There has been so much celebrity gossip going on via social media lately, with the most recent subject being Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian. If you’ve been under a rock, let me give you a quick run down: Chyna allegedly sent Rob a video of her in the bed with a dude on July 4th. Rob then began to spill all of Chyna’s tea- which included posting a picture of Chyna’s vagina on Instagram. Keep in mind that they had already broken up, so doesn’t that mean she can sexually entertain whomever she wants? Since then, Rob’s Instagram account has been suspended. Meanwhile, people are talking about how Rob knew Chyna was a hoe and he should have expected it. I’m just confused on how so may people that don’t know Chyna personally know who has been in her vagina!

Now of course when they became an item, rumors were flaring about this being her ultimate revenge on Tyga. That could have very well been true. However, after watching the show, I discovered that Rob has some serious mental issues such as his severe depression-that he often took out on Chyna. I don’t see anyone discussing the fact that Chyna had her own money before she got with Tyga or Rob. All I keep hearing about is Chyna being a hoe. No one has been able to tell me what makes her a hoe exactly.

Her being a stripper previously does not make her a hoe! It’s the comments from the women with their views on Chyna that really gets to me. Sis let’s be real, how many men have been in your vagina? If your man knew, would he consider you a hoe? Do you consider yourself to be a hoe? Just because you’re older now doesn’t erase that body count from college because you just wanted to have fun! Let’s not forget the summer of 2000 when you just wanted to gain some experience (BODIES)!

When you’re in a certain social circle, of course you’re going to date men in that circle or on that level. That’s common sense right? This is really bigger than Chyna and Rob. Why is it okay for men and women to police other people’s vaginas? Men don’t even have a vagina, yet they are often the first ones to call someone a hoe. The fact of the matter is some these men were raised by hoes, and that’s why they have such strong negative opinions about women. You remember staying with your Grandma that weekend because your Mom was going to Atlanta? You know she was going to the Freak Nik, right? Do you remember she used to make you call all of her boyfriends Uncle?

Here is the bottom line: stop trying to control and monitor the bodies of women! Stop “exposing” personal information about women, because you’re mad that a particular one isn’t behaving the way you see fit! Stop associating promiscuity with images that are used for publicity! Stop associating promiscuity with revealing clothing! Even if a woman chooses to be promiscuous, how does that affect YOUR daily life? Worry about your own vagina maintenance and miles! If you don’t have a vagina, be concerned about the one you get to play in….

You don’t own anyone else’s body parts- Not even if you’re in a relationship with them! Policing of vaginas just causes resistance! Thanks for visiting Let’s talk Rae style…

 This blog was originally posted July 9th, 2017 on

It’s just biology


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Teen Mom photo

It’s that time of year again! You guessed it prom season. Social media is filled with pictures of young men and women in their gowns and garments, getting ready to enjoy their last high school special occasion before their graduation. There was a picture that I stumbled across of a young lady going to prom and she was pregnant. If I had to guess, I would say somewhere between 6 and 9 months pregnant. She wore a beautiful form-fitting gown. Her hair was styled in loose spiral curls, and her makeup appeared flawless and perfect.

This photo was actually the first time I’ve seen a showing pregnant young lady glammed up for prom. I didn’t think much of it until I read the comments. People are so cruel, and they weren’t shy about what punishment their kids would be receiving for being pregnant in high school. Everything you could think of was listed as a punishment. Some stated she shouldn’t be able to attend prom due to her situation. People commented… “She has other things to be worried about,” “I wouldn’t spend money on prom due to the disappointment of being pregnant.” This is my favorite line “Since she wants to be grown so bad she shouldn’t be involved in kid events such as prom.” Having sex has nothing to do with being grown or acting grown it’s just biology. Biology tells us that both boys and girls go through puberty. Puberty is the time in which kids and/or teens become sexually mature. After becoming sexually mature eventually the act of sex or sexual behavior will occur. Having sex is an act of biology.

There are so many things that disturbed me about the comments for several reasons. I have never understood why reproducing has always been considered a horrible act in the African American community. I’m also curious as to why so many people were interested in punishing this girl. All these judgments were formed from this one picture. No one actually knows what her situation may have been. No one knows who paid for her prom expenses. She could be from a culture where she is already married and now expecting the couple’s first child. Folks are just shooting off at the mouth per usual.

The bigger issue of what the picture and comments represent to society- is plain old misogyny. Why do we continue to mistreat our daughters for mistakes and their bodies? Then wonder why their daughters don’t communicate with them… If we are constantly telling our girls that everything is their fault we can’t possibly be effectively teaching them to love themselves. As of lately, I have been in contact with a few ladies that were pregnant during my in time high school. Many of them informed me that they were mistreated by teachers and shunned by parents when they became pregnant. The audacity of those faculty members to display their negative feelings on a person already in a delicate and emotional state. That kind of behavior is not only appalling but it’s not productive nor necessary.

Do not misunderstand my intent for this article. I thoroughly understand that parents don’t want their teenager to become a young parent. However, if it does happen do you honestly think kicking them out the house, verbally abusing them, or any other punishment will help or hinder them in the long run? Teenage pregnancy isn’t some new phenomenon. Teenagers have been having sex and getting pregnant for decades! In fact the 2011 pregnancy rate was the lowest it has been in over 3 decades, and that’s with 54 out of every 1,000 women getting pregnant at age 15 and up.

Keep in mind girls don’t get themselves pregnant. Yet, we hardly ever hear about parents punishing their sons for their role in pregnancy. Some don’t even feel that their sons have to responsible in the situation. Reinforce safe sex and reevaluate the way you communicate with your daughter about the subject. Remember it’s not about being grown or wanting to be grown, it’s just Biology..

This blog was originally written on June 15th, 2017 and posted on

Family Ties


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Many thoughts and meanings are associated with the word family. Loyalty, blood, unbreakable bonds, and childhood are just a few. We often have this idea of what family should and shouldn’t be, and what they should and shouldn’t do. It seems that we hold our family to the highest standard possible when it comes to relationships with one another.

It’s important to remember that even though they are our family, they are still just people, and people are flawed. People are damaged. People are abused, and most of all, they are broken. When broken people don’t discuss what initially broke them to begin with, it just makes matters worse. Within families we have broken mothers raising daughters that will essentially become broken, because brokenness becomes the norm. Sisters become silent enemies because they would much rather suppress their feelings and pain instead of communicating their issues to one another. Aunts have resentment towards their nieces because they were treated poorly by their aunts as children. Uncles turn into deadbeat fathers because they never really had a demonstration of what it was to be an active father.

The glue that keeps these family matters sealed are the Matriarch and/or Patriarch (elders) of the family. Everyone knows that unity is a must for them! When the Matriarch or Patriarch is called home to glory, the unity is instantly broken. The arguments about nonsense begin. There is always that one person that continues to host the functions that the elders once hosted. However, half of the people show up now because one side of the family doesn’t want to be involved with the other side. In a nutshell, the foundation the leaders put together is destroyed by selfishness, lack of communication, egos, and immaturity.

We all have a role within our family dynamics. Do your part, and if you can sleep at night knowing that you’ve made the leaders of your family proud, then your work is done. You’ve done all that you can do. If you think for a second that you could do more then you should.

Have a little more patience with your family, just as the elders of your family would.

This was originally posted May 19th, 2017 on

Being your own boss


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Entrepreneurship has been on the rise for the last 3 years. Everywhere you turn, you see someone opening up a business- even if it’s just an online business. There are memes all over the place encouraging people to exit their 9-5’s to become entrepreneurs. “Do what you love and get paid for it,” is a popular slogan that’s often viewed via social media. There was also a post that said something along the lines of “we congratulate people that get new jobs, but don’t congratulate those that start their own business.” Shouldn’t both be congratulated and celebrated, though?

“Someone will pay you to build their empire if you don’t build your own.” is another one. Building your own empire and quitting your 9-5pm sounds glamorous, and so easy to do! However, no one seems to mention the extreme hard work that entrepreneurs put in on a daily basis without any compensation or return. People don’t mention that on average, entrepreneurs don’t actually see a profit until 5 years later. It’s probably not mentioned because many entrepreneurs don’t realize they are just getting the money back that they’ve invested.

Everyone should follow their dreams, but the harsh reality is everyone is not built to be an entrepreneur. It’s not for everyone. People need jobs and jobs need people. It’s how society has been designed. Please stop attempting to put people down because you think they should create their own business, and be leary of those who up and quit their jobs to pursue a hobby or their own business out the blue. It’s been noted that many of those people live with their parents, have no real responsibilities, or they have someone that will help them financially- which makes it easy for them not to work. People won’t tell you everything, just what they want you to know.

There are also many people selling products for a larger company, and they consider that entrepreneurship. However, that’s still working for someone other than yourself- especially if team building is involved. People often play word games when money is involved, so be careful. Do what’s best and beneficial for your own circumstances.

To those who are happy with their jobs and/or careers, continue to maintain your balance. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad for being employed. There is someone right now wishing they had a job or career. Entrepreneurs, be sure that you start a pension plan, IRA, or 401K with whomever you bank with. Also, find and purchase a suitable healthcare plan for yourself as well! Keep striving and protecting your craft.

If you work a 9-5 and you want to be an entrepreneur, use your job to fund your dream!