Sex seems to be everywhere. We talk about sex with our friends, we fantasize about sex, and we see sex online and on TV. Let’s face it: if you’re performing it correctly, we all enjoy sex! There was once a time when discussing sex was a taboo topic to have in public forums.
You weren’t supposed to talk about your husband’s mistress that you and everyone around you were well aware of. In the words of the late Rose Kennedy: “My job is to be a good wife, mother, and a good Catholic.”
Fortunately, women are now encouraged to vocalize their feelings, suspicions, and facts when it comes to their relationships. Society has characterized men as promiscuous consistently within relationships. This topic may seem trite but how often do we as a society try to really understand why men are promiscuous? I mean going beyond the “men are dogs” (rolls eyes) excuse! Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. There are some real scumbag men in the world. However, there are often deeper rooted issues with promiscuous men.
I have been doing a little personal research from men I know, men I’ve dated, (I just love secretly making people lab rats) and of course stories from my feminine cohorts. I have come up with four main reasons why many men choose to be promiscuous.
1) He’s a “damaged man”: The “damaged man” was once just a good guy in what he thought was a neutral loving relationship. He gave his all and then some because his heart was really with his woman. In his previous relationship, he was ready to take things to the next level UNTIL…….. He found out that she- the love of his life- was sneaky freaky! He then becomes so distrustful of women due to him once being blinded by love that he doesn’t allow any other woman in, and the minute he realizes he has let a woman get too close, he drops her!
2) He’s the “I don’t think I’m good enough for her” man: This is my favorite guy because he allows his own insecurities to ruin things for him. No matter how much his woman tells him how awesome he is (which he needs to hear due to his ego), he still compares himself to other men and even to his woman. In his mind, he’s afraid of his woman leaving him for a “better man.” No matter what his woman says or does to satisfy him and make him feel like the man of all men, he doesn’t feel that way about himself. To bandage his insecurities from the outside world, he talks as if he is the HNIC and smashes whatever he can in an attempt to feed his ego and make him feel like a man.
3) He’s an “I have mommy issues” man: The mommy issues man is usually suffering from one of two things: He saw many men in and out of his mom’s life which makes him often resent his mother and/or he thinks it is normal behavior to run in and out of women’s lives, Or he never received the love and affection that he desired from his mom. Therefore he looks for a different quality in different women to make one collective woman to fulfill his needs.
4) He’s an “I really like men but I’m suppressing my feelings” man (aka, the gay man): Don’t judge him too harshly. Think about the society we live in. This man is confident, successful, attractive, and in his mind he has the best of both worlds. He isn’t really satisfied by women on any level but he isn’t willing to accept himself. How would he tell his homies that he likes men? How would he tell his family? How can he tell anyone when he isn’t ready to be true to himself?! So, instead of being himself, he trades out different women every week to help fill a void of emptiness, sadness,and loneliness.
These are just a few reasons that I’ve come up with as to why men are promiscuous. Of course every man is not promiscuous. Have you ever dated a promiscuous man that fits in to one of these four categories? Are you one of the promiscuous men in these categories?
I hope you enjoyed talking Rae Style…….
This article was originally written and posted on September 25th, 2014 at http://www.LetsTalkRaeStyle.com